


Hands Touching Hands

by AnneAce



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bets, Bucky likes Twitter, Cute but also sad?, Fluff, It's all slightly vague, M/M, Natasha is a cheat, No Hand Touching, Possessive Bucky Barnes, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sam Wilson has PTSD, Sam is curious, Steve and Bucky Have PTSD, avengers live in the tower, getting engaged, mentions of triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:54:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26454472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnneAce/pseuds/AnneAce
Summary: When Steve and Bucky finally get engaged Sam begins to notice something a little strange about the couple. After some digging ends with more questions than answers Sam attempts to let it all go. Eventually Sam gets the answers he never actually wanted.Or Sam Wilson sometimes has too much "life experience" in common with Steve Rogers.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson
Comments: 7
Kudos: 149





	Hands Touching Hands

Steve and Bucky were one of _those_ couples. The kind that couldn’t keep their hands off of each other, and not just in the sex way. Though it was definitely in the sex way too. No, it was always just them leaning against each other or putting a chin on the other’s shoulder, or pressed up against each other on the couch. 

Tony had made several comments, several loud comments, about how gross they were. Not like he wasn’t mooning over Pepper whenever she was in sight. It was just the usual jokes, like telling them to get a room, or weren’t they too old to like public displays of affection? Bucky really liked public displays of affection. It might be an ownership thing since Bucky liked to show off anything that he owned, but it could just be because they were like that. They walked around attached at the hip, arms slung over shoulders and around the waist. Even when they were fighting. Bucky and Steve would aggressively ignore each other while curled up in the other’s lap. 

Sam was pretty sure that it was a separation anxiety thing. With Steve generally going off and doing something stupid if he was left alone, and Bucky having been alone and tortured for seventy years. They were pretty functional though. Which meant it wasn't a problem Sam was going to think about. 

After a while. Bucky had shown up one day when Steve and Sam had been chasing after them. In their hotel room. Yes, that had given Sam a heart attack. From there it had been a slow process to get Bucky better, but Sam had seen the man blossom over time. Just like he had seen their relationship blossom. Steve and Bucky were going to celebrate their fifth anniversary. Was it their fifth anniversary? Sam was pretty sure they had been together sometime before either of them went into ice. Five year anniversary in the twenty-first century. It had been seven years since they had been reunited. 

There was money on the table about which one of them would purpose first. It was going to be soon though. Sam thought it was going to be Steve and Natasha thought it was going to be Bucky. They were at some fancy dinner, so naturally, all of the avengers were sitting in their living room waiting for them to come home. There was popcorn and they were all watching the door. 

As a counselor, Sam was pretty sure this was a bad idea. Thankfully he was not their counselor, so he didn’t have to think about it. He could just be Steve’s best friend. Which was great and definitely made this okay. Eventually, late in the evening, the door opened and everyone leaned forward. Clint shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth. 

Bucky and Steve stepped into the room, hands slid into their pockets, and brushing up against each other. “I told you,” Bucky exclaimed delighted as he looked over them. 

Steve sighed and put his head on Bucky’s shoulder his face bright red and trying to give them all the ‘Captain America Is Disappointed,’ look, which actually wore off eventually after you’ve seen him do enough dumb shit. Natasha just laughed. “What bet did you win?” 

The Winter Soldier preened, “Steve has to grow his hair out,” he announced and winced when Steve tugged on his brown locks. 

“This is a horrible idea.” 

Tony, Sam, and Clint all whistled. “I can see the headlines now Captain America grows hair out to match Murder Boyfriend,” Tony quipped, which made Steve groan again. “Fiance,” Bucky corrected with another smug smile. 

Natasha gave Bucky a hard look like she was daring him to make her lose their bet. Steve pulled his hand out of his pocket and slid it across Bucky’s chest with a soft smile showing off the ring. Natasha danced in delight swooping down to collect the money. “Ha! I told you, Wilson.” 

Steve tutted. “Not so fast,” he exclaimed and Natasha glared as Bucky pulled out his flesh hand to show her the ring. 

Of fucking course they purposed at the same fucking time. Sam groaned leaning back in his seat. They were both so fucking extra. Natasha dropped the money back down as Clint tried to figure out who won the money. Tony had other things on his mind. “Shouldn’t your ring go on the other hand,” he asked the assassin. 

Bucky shrugged. “I don’t want the metal to slip off the metal, and having it on the right hand is more traditional in Russia anyways.” 

Natasha’s eyes did the thing where they went soft and mushy, but she refused to let them actually do that, so she still looked upset but was definitely crying on the inside. As far as Sam could tell Bucky considered himself Russian kind of in the same way Natasha did. It turned out that the Russian’s had had him for a very long time. No one was really going to argue with him on it, and he was kind of right anyways. Steve was looking at Bucky like he hung the moon, but that was normal. Clint and Sam both made little awe sounds because they could admit when things were cute and Tony made a gagging sound because he was horrible.

The two super soldiers stepped into the room moving towards their bedroom as they did so. Bucky scooped up the money with a grin. “Technically Steve and I are the only winners here, so we’ll take this as a donation to the wedding,” Bucky declared right hand on the small of Steve’s back. 

Tony gasped now. “You say that like I’m not going to pay for the entire wedding!” 

“Tony,” Steve exclaimed but Bucky had grabbed his tie and was dragging him along before Steve could even argue. 

“Get out,” Bucky demanded, “you had your fun, now Steve and I need to go christen the bedroom.” 

“I’m pretty sure that’s what happens after you get married,” Clint called after as Tony gagged and Natasha whistled. 

Sam shook his head and began to usher the others out of the pair’s apartment. Tony started to chatter excitedly about wedding plans, and Natasha was attempting to talk him out of it while Clint tried to talk everyone into getting beer and pizza to celebrate. Sam felt a little giddy at all of it. Both men had come so far, and he was proud. 

\--------------------------

Nothing really changed with Bucky’s and Steve's engagement. They were still the same disgusting couple and Bucky posted about it three times a day on Instagram. Got into twitter fights with anyone who called him Captain America’s boyfriend because excuse me he was his fiancee thank you very much. Steve blushed like usual and gave Bucky the same hopeless looks. 

Nothing really changed, minus how long Steve's hair got, but Sam started to notice something. He followed Bucky on Instagram and Twitter obviously and the man loved to show off his engagement ring any time he could, especially if he could get Steve’s ring in the picture too. Barnes was about as careful with PDA online as he was in person so not very careful at all. So there were thousands of photos of him and Steve and the pair together. Hands-on each other’s waist, and arms and chests, and legs, and faces, and everything. Everything but touching each other’s hands. 

When it first clicked with Sam he was laying on his bed watching Bucky’s latest Twitter fight go down. It was better than dealing with the own fight in his head. The thread he was on was part of some hashtag about engaged couples showing off their engagement rings. He had decided to scroll through the photos. It was... Sam’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. 

There were a lot of different positions of people showing off the rings but a lot of them had people holding hands or touching each other’s hands. Bucky and Steve’s was not. Sam out of curiosity looked back through Bucky’s pictures on Twitter and Instagram. Okay, that weird. There was not a single picture of them touching each other’s hands. It wasn’t even just engagement or ring photos. Sam went all the way back through every picture, and there was not a single photo of them touching or holding hands. Which was weird. Steve and Bucky were _that_ obnoxiously in love touchy couple. How was there not a single picture of them holding hands? 

Sam went back and looked through Steve’s Twitter and Instagram which he posted on only when the PR team made him do it. Nope, there wasn’t a single photo like what Sam was looking for even on Steve’s. He went through all of the photos from Natasha’s Avenger Party folder and yeah no. They weren’t there either. 

It was about four in the morning when Sam gave up. He fell asleep in bed wondering why a couple that couldn’t stop touching didn’t have any photos of them holding hands. It wasn’t like either of them was more private about their relationship online than they were in person. Bucky had posted a few photos that the PR team thought was risky enough that they begged him to take them down. Bucky hadn't taken them down. 

Now that Sam had seen it he couldn’t unsee it. He watched them a bit more closely as the days went on. When they reached for each other they reached for arms and knees, and elbows, and hair, and the back of the neck. They kissed and touched and laid together, and their hands didn’t connect at all. 

Eventually, Sam broke down and asked Natasha as Steve and Bucky were squabbling in the kitchen something to do with popcorn. “Hey. Odd question,” he started. 

Natasha gave him both an interested and judging look. Well her best friend was Clint so he supposed that she was used to a lot of odd questions. Of all kinds, and Sam shuddered to think of what came out of Clint’s mouth if he started a conversation like that. He soldiered on anyways. “Have you ever seen Bucky and Steve touch hands?” 

This was obviously not the question she had been expecting. Natasha didn’t do things like gasp or make shocked faces, but she looked at him for a moment too long. Natasha didn’t ask any stupid questions either. “Why do you ask?” 

They both looked towards the kitchen where the argument had gotten louder. Not at the levels of actually arguing loud. Those were usually completely silent or the building was going to blow up loud. “I was looking at that one twitter tag that Bucky keeps joining to show off his engagement ring and I noticed that all these lovey-dovey people have a lot of photos where they are holding hands, and Bucky’s never do.” 

Natasha pulled out her cell phone and Sam popped up over her shoulder to watch her start the scroll through Twitter pictures. “I checked already,” he confirmed, Twitter, Instagram, all of the party photos.” 

She tilted her head up. “Hey Jarvis,” she asked making sure her voice didn’t carry to the two super soldiers, “have Steve and Bucky ever touched each other’s hands in the building.” 

Jarvis was silent for a long moment. “From what I can gather, no they haven’t Agent Romanoff.” 

Okay, so why hadn’t he had just thought of asking Jarvis that question. Sam raised his eyebrow at Natasha, “Is this how you spy on everyone? Having Jarvis do it for you.” 

She shrugged non-pulsed and rolled back her shoulders. “Is this the conversation you want to be having right now?” 

Not fair. Sam sighed and Steve and Bucky stumbled back in so they could watch the damn movie. “What conversation do you not want to be having,” Bucky asked as he dropped down onto the ground between Steve’s legs as he sat down in the big poofy chair. 

They were an entirely gross couple. “Sex positions,” Natasha deadpanned before Sam could even think of getting a word out. 

He groaned and smacked her shoulder while she laughed. Though if he was honest he would have to admit it was a good distraction for what they were talking about, even if it was at his own expense. Which cue a load of bullshit from the gross couple. Honestly, he had more questions than answers, but it didn’t matter he enjoyed his night. 

\--------------------------

Sam did not spend a lot of time thinking about Steve and Bucky’s relationship. It would be weird if he did that. Why would you spend time constantly wondering about why your best friend didn’t hold hands with his partner when they were a grossly affectionate couple. He went on with his life, but when he was laying in bed alone with his thoughts it would sneak up from time to time. Sam didn’t see Natasha investigating it, so he left it alone. 

He tried to leave it alone, tried not to make it weird. It was not his fault. They were the ones who made it weird. Once Sam had seen it he wasn’t able to unsee it. The more he watched the more he would see little flinches from the pair when people were touching hands during movies. Some flinching was more noticeable than others, and that was a lot when it came to analyzing the body language of the Winter Soldier. It wasn’t obvious, but looking for it meant he couldn’t look away. Seeing both of them uncomfortable with it made him feel like he was doing something wrong as a friend and a counselor for letting it happen. 

Tony had programmed Jarvis to remove movies and tv shows with things that actively triggered the other Avengers in said room. For Tony, anything involving space wasn’t available if he was around, but if he wasn’t then movies with space were shown. For Sam, it was medical rescue. Which sucked as a former paramedic. Things like torture and suicide were just ruled out in general. Monsters were a big no for Bruce and Natahasha’s triggers had a lot to do with child death or kidnapping, which made sense. Bucky had a million and a half, but only with every really odd things. 

Steve though. Steve was the cold, snow and ice, and tundra. They had tried to watch Frozen once because it was a kid's movie, but once Elsa had started to use her powers Steve hadn’t been able to breathe. Sam never wanted to watch that again. Not that look on Steve’s face. Which was sad, because Steve loved animated movies and art, and Frozen had great art. If select things were able to edit out and didn’t mess with the movie, Jarvis would edit it out. 

When Sam suggested that Jarvis remove or edit anything with hand touching well it seemed like the next most logical thing to do. Honestly, it wasn’t even that big of a difference and it just faded from Sam’s mind. He still wanted to know what was up with the hand holding thing, but it was a weird desire so he kept ignoring it. 

\--------------------------

Until Steve brought it up. It was about two weeks from the wedding. Sam and Steve were at the end of their daily morning jog. Like usual Sam was dying, because Steve was an asshole with a sports car body. Basically, he was an asshole and Sam was dying. Which was currently all the thoughts Sam could get through his head as he tried to catch his breath. Except for Steve choose the worst moments to be cryptic and vague, which meant he was feeling emotional. Sam was dying and Steve wanted to be emotional. 

“I uh- well I don’t know how you found out about it, but we really appreciate it Sam. Thank you.” 

Sam tilted his head and looked at Steve. The bastard was barely sweating. His hair had grown down to his shoulder, per the bet he had with Bucky, and he tied it back for runs. There wasn't a hair out of place. The bastard. What the hell was he going on about? “What,” he gasped out. 

Steve’s ears were starting to turn that adorable shade of red he got when he was embarrassed or flustered. Somehow Sam Wilson got to be a person who made Captain America get flustered. Which was the best thing in the world to ever brag about. Except when he was honest bragging. Then it was he got to be best friends with Steve Rogers, who was a lot better than Captain America. 

“You know,” Steve pushed, his stupid ass still playing the cryptic game, “I mean it took us a long time to figure out that you had done it, and we really don’t know how you found out, but still.” 

He reached for his bottle of water, either to dump over his own head or spray it at Steve he wasn’t sure yet. What _we_ thing this was he hadn’t figured it out. Apparently, he had done something for Steve and Bucky recently though. Steve flopped his big barely sweaty body down next to Sam and spread out in the grass. “That’s not really fair of me to say,” Steve concluded carrying the entire conversation by himself, “honestly we hadn’t realized it bothered us until we realized what you did.” 

Sam squirted him with the water. Steve squeaked, and god wasn’t that a thing, and then tried to steal the water bottle from Sam. This naturally turned into a twenty-minute game of chase and steal in which they tried to get the water bottle and squirt it at each other. By the time they were panting or more likely Sam was panting on the ground again Steve had managed to clear his thoughts. 

“You’re the one who had Jarvis remove hand holding and touching from our tv and movie list right,” he asked. 

That! Yeah. He took in what Steve and told him going back to when he wasn’t making any sense. They hadn’t known they were having those reactions? “I would kind of be a shitty friend if I noticed that and didn’t ask Jarvis to put it on the trigger list,” he answered knowing full well asking Steve about his feelings was the best way to never find out. 

Steve lifted his hand in front of his face looking at the ring. His smile was a thousand watts that stupid dopey smile that meant he was thinking about Bucky. Sam kind of loved that smile on Steve. “You must have noticed that we don’t hold hands then. 

They didn’t even touch each other’s hands but they could go with that understatement. “A little,” Sam agreed, the questions bubbling in his stomach. 

He felt a little sick by his own anticipation. His wanting to know why when he had no right into their lives like that. “It’s not because I’m ashamed of him or the arm,” Steve exclaimed, bringing his hand down to his chest cradling it protectively. 

“There is nothing about your relationship that would make anyone think you were ashamed of any part of him,” Sam huffed. 

Steve rolled onto his side to face Sam, and Sam obliged, rolling to meet Steve’s eyes. His pupils were wide and he spoke in a soft reverend voice. “It’s about the train,” he admitted, “and the Triskelion. We weren’t able to reach each other.” 

He made a small sound but continued anyway. “We both know it’s stupid, but what if I take his hand and I still can’t hold onto him?”

Reaching out to Steve, putting an arm around him was instinctual. So was the rush of air flying past his body and reaching his hand out trying so hard, with all of his might to just reach out and catch the most important person. Giving it his everything and still watching them fall. 

“I understand,” Sam whispered, his voice cracking as Steve returned the hug. 

He understood. 

He wished he didn’t. 


End file.
